Natural born loafer
I am what I like to call a natural loafer. I would rather lie on the couch and read, no matter what. It doesn’t matter how nice it is outside, it doesn’t matter that I did it yesterday, it doesn’t matter that dinner’s ready. So it’s weird that I ended up married to my husband who is an extroverted athlete. While I was busy failing the President’s Physical Fitness test in gym class, he was busy getting picked first and making the all star team. But, the stars aligned and we are together. The stars aligned further and we created 2 sons. The oldest of who recently gave me a monumentally hard time about going to T-ball practice. This one is MY boy. He would rather watch TV and eat snacks, he’s Ok at sports, but he doesn’t like them. Just like his mother.
The torch has been passed. My mother knows I am a loafer. She spent decades wrenching me out of bed and getting me to school. She made me participate in one sport and she never let me quit. Now it is my job to get my son to T ball practice and convince him that he HAS to go to school. I can only hope that my son eventually has a loafer’s epiphany like I did. My epiphany came in my mid twenties which is not surprising since this is when the pre frontal cortex, the part of the brain that perceives consequences, fully matures. My epiphany came when my husband and I took a snowboarding trip. I had totally deluded myself into thinking that never doing anything more than walk the dog for the past 5 years was enough preparation to learn to snowboard. That and going skiing in the Poconos in NJ a few times in middle school infused me with confidence.
The trip went so unwell that it caused my epiphany. I was lying flat on my back at 8000ft. with so little muscle mass that I was physically unable to get up. I was ridiculously out of breath. I was on a slope called Sesame Street and I was beaten. I realized right then that I had to get off the couch and get moving. Fast forward 15 years. I am now very fit. I turned on my nerd power and researched exercise until I found and implemented the best way to achieve total body fitness. Best of all, my commitment to fitness didn’t cause me to turn my back on loafing. I remain a natural loafer and it turns out to be the secret to optimal health! Taking it easy is the key. In my world which is your world, one is always to be working or doing a chore which is not feasible. In fact our ancestors spent most of their time lying about and hanging out with family. Very little time was spent hunting or working. There has to be down time. When people around me are going too fast, doing too much and stressing out, I’m like hey, let’s skip these meetings, watch the Lord of the Rings Trilogy and eat popcorn! Or I’ll sneak off to read my book. Sneaking off is essential for loafing. In fact that’s what I need to work on this weekend with my 5 year old. Teaching a boy how to sneak off properly is not going to be covered in the parenting books but I think I can handle it.